(holiday music)
- [Voiceover] There's still time to get
your picture taken with Santa Claus...
(holiday music)
- [Mom] Hey gang, it's Christmas Eve,
let's just squeeze in one more practice.
- [Jake] Mom, again?
- [Voiceover] Yes, again.
Okay, from the top.
* Deck the halls with boughs of holly
* Fa la la la la la la la la
* Tis the season to be jolly
* Fa la la la la la la la la
* Pete I don't hear you singing
* 'Cause I'm not really singing and neither is Jake
* You're displaying classic sibling rivalry *
- You're being a classic dork.
* Finish the song so I can go meet my friends *
- Come on people, we're losing focus here.
* Fa la la la la la la la later *
- Well as much as I hate to be the one
to break up the party, I have a sick parakeet to attend to.
I have to zoom into work.
- Zoom, no more tickets like last week, please honey.
- Honey, those people were driving too slow,
besides, how else would we have met the Gundersons?
- I'm just sorry you have to work Christmas Eve, that's all.
- I know.
But, tomorrow I'm all yours.
- These extra hours are just temporary,
just until I find a new job.
But hey, you know what the silver lining is,
I have all this extra time I can organize.
I've already organized the DVDs by color this time.
- Color?
- Color Purple, Purple Rose of Cairo, Purple Rain...
What are you doing?
- Adding organize DVDs to my to-do list.
- Hey, everything's gonna be fine, just as long as life
doesn't throw us anymore curve balls.
(doorbell ringing)
- I'll get it.
- Why are you wasting electricity with an electric Santa?
- Dad?
- Grab my bag, I got a hernia.
Would I be allowed in?
- Yeah, yeah, come on in, it's great.
Honey!
- What is he doing here?
- I didn't know he was coming, he never comes for Christmas.
- Okay, put him in Kenny's room
and Kenny can sleep with Pete.
- He's not sleeping with me, he wets the bed.
- Nonsense, he's fine as long as he doesn't drink anything.
(slurping straw)
- Hey bunk mate.
(slurping straw)
(gentle music)
(train whistle)
- Nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure.
- You kept me up 'til two AM snoring.
- Adenoids are a serious condition.
- Well at least you didn't...
Oh man, you wet the bed!
- I believe you're engaging in what's commonly known
as projection, and I would submit that
that pee is in fact yours.
- Are you kidding me?
Ow!
- Ah, you still stink at football.
I hate to break it to you guys but last night I ate most
of the pancake mix, so I hope you guys like
stale toast, 'cause I'm getting there first.
- It's Christmas morning, (speaking Latin),
early bird gets the worm, in Latin.
(sighing)
(Santa noises)
- Good morning Sunshine,
go get Grandpa and we'll open presents.
And put on something nice, it's Christmas.
- Hey Grandpa, Mom wants us all downstairs.
- You don't know what knocking is?
What do you got to say for yourself?
- Don't shoot the messenger.
- [Grandpa] Did you get this tree right out of a box?
- [Mom] It has sentimental value.
- You are a softy, Pamela, just like my kid.
- Thank you.
- It's not a compliment.
- Okay then.
Jake, you go first.
- Yah!
- Shocking.
- [Jake] Let's see what we got here.
To Jake from Santa.
- [Dad] Over here, over here.
- No, wait, wait, wait, get my good side.
Never mind, they're both my good side.
- Okay, just get in one more, little to the left.
- I realize star athletes are known
for their victory dances, but must you
do them for everything?
(dinging)
- The crumpets are ready.
- Really?
- Okay, who's next?
- Me, me, me!
- Go, go.
- [Kenny] Delightful!
- A telescope.
- And good timing...
- [Pete] That's what I wanted.
- Cassiopeia should be in fine form this week.
- [Jake] Hey Mom, you made all the crumpets.
- I want crumpets!
(laughing)
- Better be another telescope under there.
Uh, hey I don't see my name tag.
- Hey, you're gonna love it.
Okay, Santa got you something great this year.
- What?
- Right honey?
- What, why are you looking at me?
You were supposed to talk to Santa.
- [Dad] Uh, no no, I specificallly remember
asking you to speak to Santa when you...
- [Mom] No. - [Dad] Yes.
- No, no, no you didn't.
You were definitely gonna speak to Santa.
- Santa forgot my Christmas gifts?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Look, you're just tricky to buy gifts for, that's all.
You've tried karate, trumpet, tennis, painting, guitar,
it's hard to keep up with what you want sometimes.
- Oh Pete, Pete we're so sorry.
- [Dad] We're sorry.
- So sorry.
We're gonna fix this, as soon as possible.
(phone ringing) Hold on a second.
Doctor Kidder.
Are her feathers intact?
- Ah wait!
Do not plug in anything when the tree is on,
the circuits are already overloaded, okay?
- Hun, I'm gonna start the beef wellington.
- Wellington? Wow, that sounds ambitious.
- Apparently all you do is coat the beef tenderloin in pate,
wrap it in crepe to keep it moist, roll it in puff pastry,
and cook, easy peasy.
- You know I'm just thinking it might be easier this year
to do something simple, like you know, do a turkey.
- Okay, just because I have to work today doesn't mean
I am not gonna try to make this Christmas special.
- Okay.
- Tree looks kinda bare without the star on the top.
- I just didn't get the...
Your Grandma used to put our happiest photos
on this Christmas star decoration she made.
I would sit there looking up
at the tree on Christmas morning.
- Yeah, it was the most wonderful thing
about Christmas morning.
- Yeah.
- Then somebody broke it.
- Be right back.
- Pete, it's the last one so, Merry Christmas.
- Thanks.
- Yeah, it fell in the toilet.
(holiday music)
- No present, this is officially the worst Christmas ever.
- Pete.
Look, I'm sorry, I'll make this right.
- Dad, I wanted the telescope.
- Dad, it's perfect, the Leonid meteor shower's next week,
and there's an eclipse next month
at 43 degrees ascendancy in the Western sky.
- Wow, you sure know your eclipses.
You know something, there's a book
I think you might wanna have a look at here.
- Hey, crazy legs Kenny, wanna play catch?
- Sure, let me get my coat.
- Hold on there buddy.
- What about me?
- Yeah, no, no.
- Okay buddy, today I'm gonna teach you how to spiral, okay?
- [Kenny] Cool.
- Come on, snap out of it.
No long faces.
- I asked for one thing.
One, and I got nothing.
- Well same thing happened to me.
Just about the same age you are right now.
- You got nothing for Christmas?
- Nothing, zip.
You'll get over it.
Come on, buck up Kenny.
- I'm Pete.
- Hey Kidder! - Think fast!
- Better get used to the taste of ice.
(grunting)
See you at football.
(loud rip)
- No!
(screaming)
- Oh Pete, you're on chopping duty.
- I just had a very traumatic incident.
- Looks like there are lights on at the neighbors
and I saw a car in the driveway.
- Well, new neighbors means an introduction is in order,
and I know the perfect way.
The Kidder family is gonna keep
its Christmas traditions or die trying.
- Please don't say... (kazoo)
- Time for caroling!
- [Dad] Let's go!
(holiday music)
- Where'd you get these sweaters?
- Wow, you actually like something I made?
- Not really, I just wanna know where I can take it back.
- Come on Dad, they're not so bad.
- The rash is much worse.
- I can't wait.
(knocking)
- Hello, we are the Kidder family, we live next door
and we wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.
Gang.
(kazoo)
* On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
* A partridge in a pear tree
* On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me *
- Pete, sing!
* Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree
* On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me *
- Sing, dork wad.
* Three french hens, two turtle doves
* And a partridge in a pear tree *
- Um, can we go now?
- Yup, excuse us.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- [Dad] Let's go.
- [Mom] Come on, come on you guys.
- [Kenny] Nice one.
- Hey, Dad said not to mess with that
while the tree's plugged in.
- What are you, the plug police?
- Seriously, I mean you have to unplug the lights
from the tree or it'll overload.
I'll do it.
- Hurry up, I have a Skylander playoff with Kenny, come on.
- I'm trying.
- Forget it.
(loud crash)
- What happened?
- Um, ask Pete, it was totally his fault.
- Jake, Pete's not here.
- [Pete] Actually I am.
- Oh my goodness.
- Pete, what did you do?
- I didn't do anything.
Tell them Jake.
- No, he totally did it.
- Pete broke my telescope.
- I didn't break it, I tried to save it.
- You broke it.
- No I didn't!
- Yes you did!
- No I didn't! (glass shattering)
Now I did.
- Pete, go to your room.
- Go.
- It's not like Pete to do this.
- Well at least my Dad isn't here to witness this mess
and to judge us for it, oh wait he is.
I'm sorry that Christmas is going off the rails.
Here.
(gasp)
Merry Christmas.
It's dancing lessons again,
I thought maybe this year we'd actually finish them.
- Hey, the 15 minutes we made it to last year were terrific.
(buzzing)
It's the Bronskys, all set for the big game.
- It would not be Christmas Day
without the annual football game.
- Let's tango out of here.
(laughing)
- Okay, well maybe this year
we'll learn the rest of the steps.
- Yup, okay.
(holiday music)
- Snow on the trees...
- No dorks allowed.
- Frozen fields, seems like the perfect opportunity
for me to freeze my hiney off.
- It's a Christmas Day tradition,
every year the Bronskys crush the football.
- Hey Pete!
- [Boys] Better wear your mouth guard.
(cheering)
(shouting)
- I'm open, right here.
(cheering)
- What are you waiting for?
(shouting)
I admired the way you mopped up your own blood
after the Bronskys cleaned your clock.
- [Pete] Thanks.
Why are you smiling?
- 'Cause I bet against ya.
- Bye guys, drive safe.
Safe drive home.
- Actually you know what, now I feel bad.
Here.
- [Pete] Oh, thank you. - Yeah right.
- Hey guys, great news,
the German Shepherd's gonna make it.
- That makes one of us.
- What's wrong?
- Another catastro-pete.
He threw the winning pass.
- That's great.
- To the other team.
- Oh, Pete.
I'll come in and we can talk about it.
Soon as I check that dinner.
It's raw.
No, no, no, no, the recipe said 300 for two hours.
- Well did you reset the oven after the power went out?
- What? No.
- So no Christmas dinner?
Way to go doofus.
- This family sure knows how to throw a Christmas.
Right in the toilet.
- You know, I don't know why
you had to make dinner so complicated anyway.
- Well, I...
I was just trying to make Christmas memorable.
- Memorable, just like the Titanic.
- Let's just, can we put it in the microwave?
Does that work?
Does it fit?
- Just put that...
Put that down.
- What are we gonna eat then?
- [Voiceover] Hey out in Christmas Land,
you're listening to the best station in the city.
Don't touch that dial, we have your favorite
Christmas classics all night long.
Don't forget to look out your window
for tonight's meteor shower, and if you're lucky,
you may spot Santa too.
106.5, the station that makes you want to listen.
- [Dad] Smells good.
Hey guys...
Hey, we may not have a home cooked meal, but we can
be thankful for the things we do have, right?
We're together, we're healthy,
and with time off I can spend more time with you guys.
- That's what you guys are calling
getting fired now, time off?
- I wasn't fired, I was downsized, and it's temporary.
What? What?
- Nothing, except if you'd gone to law school like I did
then you wouldn't be a professional hobo.
- Well I have a profession, I'm an advertising executive.
I analyze customer needs and I help companies
craft messages that drive consumer demand.
So...
- But it's actually just a fancy way of saying
that you sell snow boots to dogs.
- I was assigned that account, and I made the most
of what I got, which is more than I can say for you.
- What's that mean son?
- [Dad] I don't know.
- Wow, this is delicious.
Maybe we should have cheeseburgers every Christmas.
- Tasted a little bit worse than my old wingtips.
- Lousy food, everybody's mad, thanks a lot Pete.
- You're blaming me?
- There was an irrefutable chain of events.
You shorted the power, which ruined the meal,
and that's why we're here for dinner.
- Dinner? Your brother's eating a hot dog.
You call that Christmas dinner?
- No I don't, but this is the best we can do
on Christmas day, so everyone is just gonna eat their meal,
and be grateful for Christmas dinner.
Go Christmas, or go home.
- Could this day get any worse?
(burp) (moaning)
Oh no. (vomiting)
- [Parents] Oh!
(vomiting)
- [Jake] I just puked again.
The whole family got food poisoning 'cause of you.
Thanks a lot dork wad.
I'm keeping this.
It's mine now.
- Hey bud...
Whoa, coming through.
- My favorite shirt.
- Oh honey, it'll smell great,
once we bury it in the backyard.
- Mom...
- Pete, I know it's hard being the middle child,
but we'll start fresh again tomorrow.
Merry Christmas.
- You don't have to sleep with your brother anymore,
I'm leaving, clearly I'm not wanted here.
Oh, I forgot.
I got something for ya, here.
Remember that lousy Christmas I told you about?
When my Uncle Charlie came from Old Country,
he said there was something special about this.
And when the time came, I was supposed to pass it on
to someone else in the family.
- What's so special about an empty box?
- I don't know, I'm just doing what I promised,
passing it on.
Maybe you'll figure it out.
- [Dad] What are you doing?
- [Grandpa] What are you surprised for?
There's nothing for me here.
- Dad, what are you doing, you just got here.
- I know when I'm not wanted.
- Thanks for nothing.
(gentle music)
(train whistle)
- Nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure.
- What are you doing in my room?
- Grandpa's in my room, sleepyhead.
- He left.
Oh, eww, you wet the bed again!
- I believe you're engaging in what's commonly known
as projection, and I would submit that
that pee is in fact yours.
- Ow!
- Ooh, you still stink at football.
Last night I ate most of the pancake mix,
so I hope you guys like stale toast.
- [Kenny] It's Christmas morning, (speaking Latin),
early bird gets the worm, in Latin.
(holiday music)
- Good morning sunshine.
Go get Grandpa and we'll open presents.
And put on something nice.
- Very funny.
- [Mom] It's Christmas.
- Grandpa's not in Kenny's room.
Grandpa?
- What about knocking?
- I thought you left.
(knocking) - What's that? Knocking.
Did you get this tree right out of a box?
- [Mom] It has sentimental value.
- Um, is this supposed to be funny?
Having Christmas again?
I mean yesterday was the worst Christmas ever.
- Do you have a fever Pete?
Honey, wanna go check, see if Pete has a fever?
- Fever?
- Here, let me feel your forehead.
Nope, it's not hot.
Presents, Jake you go first.
- Yes, alright, let's see what we got here.
To Jake from Santa.
Yes!
(dinging)
My crumpets are ready.
- Okay...
Great joke, recreating the worst Christmas ever.
Okay, I get it, the tree fell down, Grandpa left angry,
dinner was an epic fail,
but just consider me punished, okay?
- Did he fall and hit his head?
His head looks a little misshapen today.
- Of course not.
Did you, Pete?
- Look, I didn't hit my head, I had Christmas yesterday.
Don't you...
Oh, you fixed the glass while I was asleep, nice touch.
- Okay, let's get Pete's present.
- Alright.
- Oh, that's what this is about.
Okay, I'm ready for my present.
- Okay. - Okay.
Pete's present.
- Santa forgot my present? Again?
- Oh honey.
We're so sorry.
- So just 'cause I messed up you're making me
go through this all over again?
- We're not doing anything Pete.
- Okay, you're really starting to worry me.
- Buddy, maybe you wanna go back to bed.
- Thanks.
- Hey Kidder!
- Even the Bronksys are in on this?
- Think fast!
- Impossible.
- It's as impossible as your face.
- That doesn't even make any sense.
- Yeah it does. - Yeah.
- Not again, not again.
Oh my, come on!
Why?
(screaming)
- Oh Pete, you're on chopping duty.
- I just had a very traumatic incident and...
- Honey, there are lights on at the neighbors
and I saw a car in the driveway.
- Well, new neighbors means an introduction's in order,
and I know the perfect way.
(kazoo)
* On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me *
(chanting)
- What are you waiting for?
- [Mom] It's raw.
- [Jake] So what are we gonna eat then?
- Oh no.
- [Dad] What are you doing?
You just got here.
- I know when I'm not wanted.
(train whistle)
- Nothing stops the Red Liner Express from its 7:35 AM...
(Santa noises)
- [Grandpa] Did you get this tree right out of a box?
- [Mom] It has sentimental value.
- Okay, now you're just messing with me.
I get it, I ruined Christmas, I'm sorry okay?
(rattling)
- Okay, I got dinner in the oven,
now what's going on with you Pete?
Are you okay?
- Does insanity fall into the okay category?
- Honey, I know that things have been rough lately
and we haven't been able to spend as much time together.
- That's not it Mom.
- Then what is it honey?
- We did all this already.
Everything that's happening today
has already happened before.
- Oh, that's just deja vu.
That feeling like I've been here before.
But really you haven't.
- Well then what's that feeling when today is exactly like
yesterday, when nothing has changed
and you feel like you're going completely nuts?
- I call that working for a living.
Come on, I know what you need.
You need to get outside, you need to get some fresh air.
Build a snowman.
- Mom, look I really appreciate
the trademark positive attitude, but this is one thing
fresh air is not gonna fix.
- Did we just lose power?
- No, Jake plugged in his video game and the tree was on.
It shorted the fuse.
- Jake!
(dramatic music)
- I'm stuck in Christmas.
(Santa noises)
(train whistle)
(clamoring voices)
(train whistle)
- [Kenny] Nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure.
- Why is this happening to me?
(rock music)
- [Jake] You still stink at football.
(train whistle)
- You've been in your room all day.
I wanted to give you this.
- Oh right, the box, no thanks.
- Take it, you'll figure it out.
- Thanks for nothing.
No.
No blows to the head unless a snow ball counts.
Everyone seems fine so the hallucinations
probably aren't from the food poisoning.
It's not that.
No.
Pee.
(train whistle)
- I know, I know nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure, yeah, yeah.
- Now you caught me all misty.
- Honestly, I've got bigger things to worry about.
Mom wants us downstairs.
Another Christmas day, unbelievable.
- Pete.
- Oh, just go back to your business.
Don't worry about me.
Kenny'll get the telescope I asked for,
Jake'll get a football, and then he'll ask Kenny
to throw it around, and he'll blow the fuse
and yet somehow I will get blamed like always.
- [Mom] Honey.
- Then we're gonna get food poisoning
and Dad will argue with Grandpa
and then get Grandpa really mad so he leaves.
Oh wait it gets better, then tomorrow
we'll do it all again, everything.
- He is an interesting kid.
Totally nuts, but very interesting.
- Why am I the only one that can remember anything?
- Hey Kidder!
- Wait.
- This fast!
- Yeah!
Bronskys!
- Ha! Not this time.
I got you figured out.
You can't hurt me.
- Hello!
Hi.
Are you okay?
- Who, me?
Yeah, more than okay.
My pants aren't ripped.
- Well, celebrate the small things in life right?
- I'm Katie.
Merry merry Christmas.
- That's one too many merrys.
But a lot of things have been repeating these days.
So, you just moved in?
- Yeah, yeah, from Wisconsin.
Just in time for Christmas.
- Well, sorry about the caroling.
My mom takes it pretty seriously.
- You've been caroling at our house?
- Will carol at your house, in like yeah 23 minutes.
- Oh, that's perfect.
My mom and I just baked a ton of Christmas cookies
and we've got nobody to give 'em to.
- Well, I'll see you in a bit.
I think I'm due for a tree crash power outage.
- That is an odd family tradition.
- Yeah, maybe I'll skip it this time.
(power surge)
(loud crash)
- What happened?
- Um, ask Pete.
- Did you do this?
- No, actually I was watching it all happen
from start to finish outside.
I even took this on my phone.
- Oh my goodness, what is it now?
- So you watched all this happen?
You took the time to record it, you didn't help?
- Yeah, yeah why didn't you help?
- Dad, that's not the point, I had nothing to do with this.
- Pete, what is wrong today?
Why won't you tell us what's going on with you?
- There's just no winning.
- [Grandpa] Hows about a little help here?
- Oh, oh.
- Where's my crossword?
- It's not like Pete to do this.
- It's a fiasco and my dad's here.
Look, I'm sorry this Christmas is going off the rails.
Maybe this'll make up for it.
Merry Christmas.
It's dancing lessons.
Same as last year.
- Hey, how nice.
Dance lessons.
You guys have fun while your son
is stuck in a repeating day.
- Well, that kinda shattered our moment.
(buzzing)
- Uh, perfect.
The football game is on.
- [Pete] You call it football, I call it torture.
- Have fun. - Yup.
- You know what you witnessed this morning?
Can we keep that just between us?
Is that fair.
- Does everyone get grumpy when they become a grandpa?
- Well you just don't get grumpy,
you gotta work at it, takes time.
Like making a fine wine.
You gotta bottle it up, let it sit for a couple of decades
and then, oh boy,
then you can uncork some vintage grumps.
Some downtown grumps.
- Hey Grandpa, can you keep a secret?
- Sure.
- What would you do if you were cursed
to live the same day over and over again?
- It's not a curse, sounds to me like a gift.
- A gift? Repeating the same day over and over.
- Well you get to live consequence free.
Wake up with a clean slate every morning, even though
the night before you punch some turd in the nose.
Sounds like a hoot to me.
- Never thought about it like that.
Hey!
Maybe it's time to turn the tables.
(chanting)
Jake, I'm open.
- Kidder!
- That's what I'm talking about, yeah!
- What are you doing?
- Poor sportsmanlike conduct.
You're benched.
- What, but it was a pre-emptive strike.
They were gonna smash me in 10 seconds.
- You've got exactly 10 seconds to hit the bench.
Move it.
- You got sauce kid.
- You bet against me.
- A friendly wager with neighbors.
You know what part I liked best,
when you didn't let the two big oafs intimidate you.
Us underdogs, we gotta strike back.
- Strike back.
I like the sound of that.
(rock music)
(train whistle)
You, laundry, now.
- Um, I don't see my name on any tags.
- Keep looking.
- A football?
- [Jake] What? That's what I wanted.
- Well how do you like that, this is just what I wanted.
- So, what did I get for Christmas?
- [Pamela] Oh... - Uh...
- Oh, Jake, we're so sorry.
- [Dad] Yeah, um...
- Are you kidding me?
Santa forgot about my present?
- No, no, no he didn't
- You said he was in there!
- This is his house isn't it?
- Yeah.
(arguing)
- [Pete] Hey Bronskys!
Think fast.
(laughing)
- Pete said you needed help with your crossword puzzle.
- I do?
(gentle holiday music)
- Hi, I'm Katie.
- Hey neighbor, I'm Pete and I'd say you're a cheese head.
- What did you call me?
- Hi, I'm Katie.
- Go Badgers!
- What are you talking about?
Go Bears.
- No.
Hi, I'm Katie.
- 'Sup girl.
- Just, just no.
- What up girl?
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
- You said he would be here.
- No I didn't, you said he would be here.
(grunting)
(Santa noises)
- Did you reset the oven after the power went out?
- What? No.
- So no Christmas dinner?
Thanks a lot doofus.
(doorbell ringing)
- And that would be dinner.
Looks a little small.
(doorbell ringing)
I do have a high metabolism.
(doorbell ringing)
Nice.
(chanting)
Jake, I'm open, right here.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi.
(screaming, grunting)
(cheering)
(whistle)
- You sure you wanna do this?
I mean the dabbler shouldn't mess with the king.
Last time you quit after like 20 minutes.
- Yeah well maybe cause you were
being such a competitive jerk.
- Hey, you know what, I don't have time
for remedial football, I should go practice.
- Whoa, I've been practicing.
Yeah, I might even be better than you now.
- Really? So you want to get humiliated.
Alright, fine, let's do it.
- You ready?
- For anything you've got.
(chanting)
- I'm open, I'm open.
(chanting)
One Mississippi, two Mississippi.
(cheering)
I did it!
- There's no way we lost, we're the Bronskys.
- Pieces of Green, thank you shorty, that was 15 from you,
five from you, 10 from you, 10 from you,
that's right, thank you ma'am.
20 from you.
- How'd we do?
- Look here.
That's how we did, you did wonderful, you were great.
- Thanks.
You know, I feel like celebrating.
(laughing)
- I'm game for that.
- I don't know.
Hey Bronskys!
Think fast!
- Okay, you go first.
- One, two, three.
(holiday music)
On three alright, on three.
- Both?
- Yeah, both of us, on three.
One, two, three.
(laughing)
Hey Bronskys!
- Draw!
- Yes! Yes!
It was funny, come on.
(holiday music)
- Are you sure this is supposed to be fun?
- Yeah.
Come on, put your back into it.
- Little windchill in my....
Go fast as I am, ready?
Go.
Do it fast.
Fast, not molasses.
(laughing)
(holiday music)
- I'm glad Mr. Schultz could be persuaded
to open his store today.
- Well, you got style kid.
- Hey, hit me again.
- [Voiceover] Sure thing kid.
- You know when I first started hanging out with you
I was concerned you might be a bit of a whiner,
but you know what, you became a real tough guy.
- Takes one to know one.
Tell me that story again, when you were in the Navy.
When you short-sheeted the Admiral's bed.
- How do you know that story?
Must be losing my memory.
- Sundae number 12.
- Thanks.
- You know something, this day, today,
may be the best day I have had in a long long time.
You know why?
And not because of this, but because we swapped stories,
and laughed.
- Can I ask you something?
- Whatever.
- Why'd you decide to come to Christmas this year?
- I got my reasons.
It's what your Grandmother would've wanted.
I was worried that
I might get the cold shoulder,
and instead,
I got hot fudge.
- Cheers.
- You got it son.
- [Pete] Hey neighbor, I'm Pete.
- I'm Katie.
- The great state of Wisconsin is the number one
manufacturer of sharp cheddar cheese
with 143 million pounds a year.
But, I'd bet blue cheese is actually your favorite.
- Wow, how do you know all that.
- Oh, I've got a sense about people.
- Well, nice nice to meet you.
Are you having a good Christmas?
- A merry merry Christmas actually.
- That's funny, 'cause that's my expression.
Well, (mumbling).
- What about your dad?
- He's not here right now.
- Uh yeah, well my family's mostly out to lunch too.
Grandpa's pretty cool, but the only problem is,
he doesn't remember what happens one day to the next.
- Yeah, I've got a grandpa like that too.
- No, it's not what you think.
So, what's your favorite Christmas carol?
- Jingle Bells.
But why do you ask?
- No reason.
* Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh
* Over the fields we go, laughing all the way, ha ha ha
* Bells on bobtails ring
- This is my favorite carol. - [Katie] Mine too.
* Making spirits bright
* What fun it is to ride and sing *
- [Pete] Really? - [Katie] Yeah.
* A sleighing song tonight
* Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
* Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey
* Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way
* Oh what fun it is to ride
(crunching)
- Revenge is sweet.
Too sweet, ah, I think I'm gonna puke.
- Hey sweetie, how you doing?
- Oh please don't say that word, sweetie.
My stomach hurts enough already.
- Uh, well no wonder.
Look at all this stuff.
Where did you get this money?
- Oh, Grandpa won it by betting on me at the game.
Take as much as you want, but just remember
to spend it before midnight.
- Okay, no more betting.
And Pete, Dad and I were really proud of you
for winning the game, but you and Grandpa
mooning the other team, no one likes a show off.
- Come on Dad, what are you doing?
You just got here .
- Come on, I know when I'm not wanted.
- Well, there's the sound of Grandpa leaving, again.
It's futile, just like the house.
You clean it up, mess it up, clean it up,
what's the difference?
It'll just be a mess again soon.
- You're awfully philosophical tonight.
It's a very strange Christmas we've been having.
But, tomorrow's a new day.
- Don't count on it.
- Are you putting designer sunglasses on a snowman?
- Yeah, I won 'em from somebody at the game.
You like?
- I guess.
Looks like somebody's had an excellent Christmas.
- Not exactly.
I've been doing everything I want, every day, but somehow,
everything doesn't feel as great as it should feel.
Could I ask your advice on something serious?
- Sure.
- Okay, what would you do if you had to relive
the same day over and over again?
- What wouldn't I do?
I mean anything, everything.
- It's not all it's cracked up to be.
- Are you telling me that you keep on reliving Christmas?
Over and over and over?
- Yeah. Look, I know it sounds crazy,
but it's true, and it never ends.
- That's great.
I mean the thing that's so amazing about Christmas is
it forces you to slow down and look up,
if only for a single day.
- For me it's like a lousy gift
I keep getting again and again.
And it's getting old.
(blowing wind)
- [Dad] Come on Dad, what are you doing?
You just got here.
- [Grandpa] Come on, I know when I'm not wanted.
- You're really leaving?
- Yessir, I came here to reconnect,
it's just turned into closing arguments.
Your parents certainly do not want me here.
But that's my fault.
- But Grandpa, you're the coolest.
- But you're the only one that thinks so.
I strived all my life for more,
more money, more success,
and maybe I took the most important things in life
for granted, but life doesn't give you a second chance.
I had a second chance and I screwed it up,
and if you ever get a second chance to do the right thing,
then you grab it and for goodness sake,
hold onto it with both your hands.
(somber music)
(gentle music)
(blowing wind)
(upbeat music)
* I'm on the wings of the ordinary
* You're on the wings of a dove
* And i can't help but ask myself
* Am i good enough
* I don't know
* On the wings of your fiery angel
* On the blaze of your star
* On the verge of something better
* Yes you are, oh yes you are good enough
* Good enough
* Good enough, good enough
(train whistle) (train crossing)
- Look, I think you're looking at it the wrong way.
- How's that?
- Well, if I had a chance to relive Christmas
over and over again, I know I'd only want one present.
- What?
- [Katie] Nothing. - [Pete] Nothing?
Seriously?
- I mean, not a thing.
No thing,
I would just wanna spend one more day
with all my family together,
before my dad passed away.
- But...
But I thought....
- I usually just tell people that he's travelling.
It's just easier sometimes.
- I'm really sorry Katie.
- Me too.
But thanks.
But um,
if what you're telling me is true,
and you're not pulling my leg, which I'm sure you are,
then I've got some advice for you.
- What?
* Counting down the hours
*Willing away the days
- Appreciate what you have.
* Snow is piling up outside
* And I just want to hold your face again *
- [Katie] Do the things you never thought you could.
* I've been dreaming of the future
* Wondering about my life
- Use your gift for good.
* Thinking about the years and years
* And just how fast they leave us behind
* Seems so good, feels so right
* I just want to be holding your hand
* All through the night
* Seems so good, feels so right
* I just want to be holding your hand
* All through the night
(train whistle)
- Nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure.
7:35 AM.
- Yeah, and you also wet my bed.
- [Jake] Ah, you still stink at football.
* I don't want to cry in the night
* I want you holding my hand
* As the days go by
* I don't want to be lonely with riches
* I don't want to cry in the night
* I want you holding my hand
* As the days go by
- [Katie] Look at that, wow. - [Pete] I know.
* Seems so good, feels so right
* I just want to be holding your hand *
(guitar music) - What in the world?
Do you know what time it is?
- Yeah, time for me to practice.
- [Jake] Ah, you still stink at football!
* Seems so good, feels so right
* I just want to be holding your hand *
(screaming) - Oh, sorry.
* All through the night
* Seems so good, feels so right
* I just want to be holding your hand
* All through the night
* Seems so good, feels so right *
- Merry merry Christmas.
* I just want to be holding your hand *
- Merry merry Christmas.
* All through the night
- It's not like Pete to do that.
- I know, and with my dad here.
- Since when does this kid get up early
and make us chocolate waffles?
- Did we tell him that we had
chocolate waffles on our honeymoon?
We... (guitar music)
- Sounds like Pete's put on some tunes.
(guitar music)
- Well it's perfect timing 'cause...
Merry Christmas, that's your present.
It's dancing lessons, again.
- Maybe this year we'll find time go.
(guitar music)
(giggling)
Dancing at Christmas, takes me back.
- Remember that first Christmas when you moved in?
- Ah, when you got the Christmas parade
to make a detour to my house.
It was quite a party.
What?
- Hole in the roof?
- Fake snow for atmosphere.
Just keep dancing.
(Santa noises)
- Listen Pete, I am so so sorry
we forgot to talk to Santa about your present.
- It's okay Mom, I know you're juggling a lot.
- Listen, there's one Christmas tradition
we haven't done yet.
Let's do it, you and me.
Ah, in all the hubbub I forgot
about our taffy making tradition.
- I think we should've stuck with the old recipe.
- Come on, if this recipe is good enough
that fine folks took the time to upload it to the internet,
then it's good enough for us.
I can't move my hands, you?
- No.
Uh, Mom, you're making it worse.
- Help!
Anyone? A little help here.
Okay, I guess we have to wait for the rescue parade.
- Mom, remember when I was nine and I ran away,
'cause you said I was too young to watch the midnight movie?
- Mm-hmm.
- How long was it 'til anyone noticed?
- I noticed, I was behind you in the car the whole time
you were trudging down the road to the bus stop.
- Really? I felt so independent
when I decided to come back home.
- Well, you decided on your own
that running away was silly.
I was just hedging my bets in case
the idea didn't sink in fast enough.
Hey Pete, I know it's hard being the middle child.
You know you got your older brother,
the age advantage over you, and the younger one
who sucks up all the attention, but you're finding your way.
- You think Grandpa and Dad will ever stop arguing?
- Honey, sometimes in life things just are
the way they are, and try as you might,
there's nothing you can do to change it,
no matter how much you might like to.
- It's not good enough.
- Well, sometimes life surprises you
when you least expect it.
- [Pete] Finally. - [Mom] Hey!
Wait, you're not just gonna abandon me in here are you?
My nose itches.
- There you go.
- Thanks honey.
- You actually call these sweaters?
- I know they're a tad itchy, but Mom went through
a knitting phase and they are Christmas-y.
- Christmas-y? Oh boy.
(doorbell ringing)
- [Kidders] Merry Christmas Josephine!
- Hello.
- [Mom] Hi Josephine.
- May I help you?
- Only if you like caroling.
(kazoo)
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* And a happy new year
* Good tidings we bring
* To you and your kin
* Good tidings for Christmas
* And a happy new year
- That's wonderful, just wonderful.
You know, I'm all alone this Christmas and you've,
you've made me very very happy.
Thank you.
I'll just get you some treats.
- Please, playing for you was the only treat
we really need, right Grandpa?
- Yeah, I mean we may look like ding dongs,
but we do enjoy spreading Christmas cheer.
(knocking)
- [Dad] Hello. - Hello.
- [Dad] We are the Kidder family from next door,
and we wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.
(We Wish You A Merry Christmas)
Wow! - [Kenny] Nice one Pete!
- [Woman] That's great.
- Well, let's hurry up, we got like
10 more houses to hit before football.
- Pete, since when did you learn to play the guitar?
- Yesterday.
- He has my genes.
(holiday music)
- Pete!
You brought a mascot?
- Yeah, you know I thought he'd cheer you up
after the Kidders demolish you on the field.
- When pigs fly!
- Sorry, inventing pork wings isn't until tomorrow.
(cheering) (chanting)
Jake, I'm open, right here!
- [Bronskys] We're gonna get you Kidder!
- One Mississippi, two Mississippi...
(screaming)
(cheering)
Yeah, yes!
- Yeah!
- The mascot... - It was the mascot.
(cheering)
- Thank you!
Jake, what's wrong?
- I don't know, I'm just not feeling the game this year.
When did you get so good?
- Benefit of being the overlooked middle child.
You get a lot of free time on your hands.
All those times you never asked me,
I guess I really can play.
- Yeah, well that makes one of us.
- Look, I don't get it.
You live for football, I mean I just scored
the winning touchdown and we won, why are you so upset?
- I got benched from the school team, okay?
- [Pete] You? - [Jake] Yeah.
- How's that possible?
- Apparently my passes are off and the coach thinks
that I cost us the last two games,
so he took me off first string.
- Well, you just gotta get your confidence back.
You know, get back on that football horse.
- Back on the what?
- Football horse.
- You're such a weirdo.
- Hey Pete, you brought a mascot?
- To cheer you up after we win.
- Yeah, when pigs...
- Fly, yeah I got it, thanks.
Hey uh Jake, next play
I'm gonna set you up for a winning pass.
- What are you talking about?
- Just trust me, okay?
They're gonna try to sack you,
so I'm gonna set you up for a winning lap.
- You psychic?
- Just be ready.
(chanting)
- What are you waiting for?
(cheering)
- [Pete] Nice job Jake!
- Look at that, how about that?
- What did I tell you, you're back on the football horse.
- That was a nice play, come here.
- [Kenny] Nice play Jake.
- Kidder boys rule the day!
Get a picture, come here.
Everybody bunch in together.
- Picture for Dad, I know he likes his pictures.
* Caroling in the day
* Tree lights twinkling, tinsel crinkling
* It's Christmas time again
- That's a Christmas star moment, don't you think Dad?
- Your grandmother could really make a Christmas.
I got money to collect.
- Hey Dad, meet Amanda and Kimmy.
- Amanda, Kimmy.
- Their software firm is going public soon and they're
gonna need some serious help with their online ad campaign.
- Yes, but how did you know?
- Small town, word gets around.
And my Dad is one of the best creative minds around.
- Wow, if your work is as sharp as your son's game,
we should talk.
- Oh, definitely.
(holiday music)
- How was the game?
- Decent actually.
- And I think I might have landed
a new job lead thanks to Pete.
- [Mom] What? - [Dad] Yeah.
- I'm so happy!
Should be close.
- It's raw.
- What?
- It's raw.
Did you reset the oven after the power went out?
- [Mom] No.
- So, no Christmas dinner.
Way to go doofus.
- Hey, who wants beef wellington anyway?
- I wanted it, I wanted to dazzle you guys
with beef wellington, instead we have steak tar tar.
- [Dad] It's uh...
I think it's gonna be good.
It's a bit frozen, but um...
You know, I think if we have the salad,
let's do the salad, we'll have some...
(gentle music)
- Oh look.
- Oh oh, I got it, I got it.
- Look at that.
- Ooh, it looks good.
- [Dad] Look at that.
- [Mom] Should we taste it?
It's hot.
- It's um...
It's interesting, it's got a...
- I think the word is inedible.
Oh, I should have made the classic sauce.
(gentle music)
- That was delicious.
- I don't remember, I swear, adding that
port wine reduction sauce, but it was delicious.
- Oh uh, no I got the dishes.
(gentle music)
- Honey, that was delicious.
- And what a pleasure to have such lovely guests.
That's the kind of tradition I like.
- It was so kind of you to invite us.
To be honest, we've been a little lonely this holiday,
but Pete knew all the right things
to say to get us over here.
- The more the merrier I always say.
- How about, a little music?
- Okay.
(gentle guitar music)
That was my dad's favorite song.
- He was a cellist and we'd all sing along.
May I?
* Earth stood hard as iron
* Water like a stone
* Snow had fallen, snow on snow
* Snow on snow
* In the bleak midwinter, long ago *
- Hey.
Thank you for tonight.
It was fun, and good for my mom.
- Yeah,
I'm glad that this day could be perfect for everyone.
But, Grandpa and my dad won't stop arguing,
even on a great day like today.
- Listen, you can't change who people are Pete.
- But there must be something I can do
to make 'em quit arguing.
- You know, maybe they just need help finding common ground.
- Common ground, with those two?
- Yeah, I mean a common goal always brings people together.
- I don't know why I let Pete talk me into this.
- Me neither.
It's freezing.
- Give him two eyes would help.
Nose isn't bad.
He's way too round down there.
- He's what?
- He's too round, it's wrong.
- It's called perspective Dad,
there's more than one way to make a snowman.
- No, there's not more than one way to make a snowman.
- There's more...
- Not round like this, it looks like Fatty Arbuckle.
- I don't even know who that is Dad.
Dad, this is a snowman, it's perfect.
- You know what you did, something you've done
a lot in your life, you chose the wrong way.
- I chose the wrong... - [Grandpa] Yes.
- It's a snowman Dad, there's a thousand ways.
- It's not just a snowman.
- Okay, there.
- I'm outta here.
- Dad, Dad, why don't you remake the head?
Okay, if you don't like the body,
why don't you remake the body.
You don't like this, let's just chop it off here.
- They still going at it out there?
- I mean what is it, nothing I do gets them to stop.
- Dad what are you doing?
You just got here.
- Come on, I know when I'm not wanted.
- What are you doing, you just got here.
- Come on, I know when I'm not welcome.
- Okay no, come on Dad, come on
we're making your fantasy snowman here.
We're gonna make your fantasy snowman.
- You didn't have a snowman.
- I'm making the snowman.
I'm gonna stay out here, I'm gonna finish this snowman.
What are you doing?
- What are you surprised for?
There's nothing for me here.
- You came here (stuttering),
I'm not asking you to leave.
- Come on, I know when I'm not wanted.
- You're wanted Dad, come back here.
* Everyone's together, it's Christmastime again *
- Nothing ever changes.
Is this how it's gonna be?
Are Grandpa and Dad gonna fight for the next million years?
You dumb star, I hope you turn into a red dwarf.
- What are you yelling at a star for?
- It's complicated.
- More complicated than projecting listening skills
onto a mass of... - [Pete] Just buzz off, okay?
- Pete, maybe I can help.
- How do you do it, be so cheerful and smart?
Great at everything.
- I was born that way.
It really brings up the fascinating question
of nature versus nurture.
- Anyway, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for being a jerk.
I guess I'm just jealous, okay?
- Of me?
Pete, I'm jealous of you.
- Me?
Mr. middle child, ordinary Pete who can't stick to anything?
Why?
- People always expect me to be so smart and perfect
all the time, and it's exhausting.
You know how many times I retied my bow tie today
to keep it perfect? 19.
- That is a little obsessive.
- But you, do whatever you want, have fun.
People don't lay the same expectations on you.
You know what, I didn't even want that telescope.
It feels good to say.
- You didn't want it, then why didn't you say anything?
- Things have been really tough on Mom and Dad lately,
and I just wanted to give them
one less thing to feel guilty about.
Anyway, if you want it, it's yours.
- Nah, you keep it, already have everything I need.
And Kenny, just 'cause you're perfect,
doesn't mean you can't loosen up and have fun too.
And one more thing...
(screaming) (giggling)
Oh, snowball fight, huh?
Oh nice.
Oh but you can't dodge this one, get ready here it comes.
Here he comes, here he comes.
- Goodnight Pete, merry Christmas.
- Dad?
Did you and Grandpa always argue?
- Um...
Well sometimes, after your grandma died,
something that should have brought us closer together
actually made us grow further apart.
That happens sometimes.
- I miss her too.
She was funny, she always smelled like peppermints.
- After she passed away, my dad
just kind of walled himself off.
I think he regretted not spending more time with us.
- He must have been really sad.
- Know something...
My mom had the best Christmases ever.
Every room in the house was decorated with lights,
the presents were wrapped perfectly, and the...
And the tree, the tree was...
And it was just lit up you know, like a wonderland.
When Grandpa starts griping about our Christmas...
- He's really just missing Grandma.
- Well...
Never really thought about it like that.
Um...
Goodnight.
Merry Christmas.
- Goodnight.
You think I'm crazy.
- No, I believe you believe what you're saying.
- You say that every time.
It's funny though, reliving the same day
is like watching a movie over and over again.
Nothing's what I thought it was.
- Well, if what you're saying is true, and you're not
pulling my leg, which I'm sure you are, sounds to me
like you've been given a chance to make Christmas perfect.
- That's what I thought too,
but as far as Grandpa and Dad,
maybe perfect is unattainable.
You know, you once told me
that the best thing about Christmas is it forces you
to slow down and look up at all that's around you.
- I said that? I sound smart.
Forces you to look up.
- You just gave me an idea.
Thanks.
- Welcome!
(gentle music)
- What's going on here?
- I need you to enhance this photo
of the ornament that's on top of the tree.
And I raided your Duracells.
- How come?
- No questions, okay buddy?
- [Dad] Come on Dad, what are you doing, you just got here.
- [Grandpa] Come on, I know when I'm not wanted.
- What? Grandpa don't go.
- Pete, please.
- You can't.
- You all have a nice Christmas.
- Wait, before you go, you might want to slow down
and take a look up.
At the tree.
- You found the Christmas star.
- I just recreated it.
- It's amazing.
- It's a gift from all of us.
To you and Dad.
Memories old and new.
- It's perfect.
- Remember that picture, it's Mom at the bake sale there.
- That's the year I burned the turkey.
Look how happy we were.
- Yeah we were.
- Well I really should go.
- Uh Dad,
I'd like to ask you to stay for Christmas.
And that's an invitation that's long overdue.
- Really I gotta go.
I can't impose anymore.
- I'm sorry Grandpa, you're not going anywhere tonight.
- You know I was a pretty mean linebacker back in 1968.
- Then you'll have to go through me.
- And me.
- Oh boy.
- And me Dad.
(sigh)
- You guys broke me, I'll stay another night, what can I do?
- Thank you Grandpa.
- [Mom] I'll take this. - [Grandpa] Thank you.
- As long as I'm gonna be stuck in a day,
let it be this one.
(train whistle)
What?
The train didn't crash.
- Nothing stops the Red Liner Express
from its 7:35 AM departure.
- Wait a minute.
(quiet voices)
- Hey, morning Pete.
- [Grandpa] You gave us some Christmas.
- [Dad] Thanks Dad.
- So Christmas is over?
- Honey, I'm sorry Christmas is over too.
- It's okay.
It's more than okay.
- Can't believe how much that star looks like
the one that Mom made.
- No, better.
No, no, touching by you is out.
* Jingle all the way
- [Voiceover] Good evening radio land,
don't touch that dial.
Hope you enjoyed that meteor shower last night.
Christmas may be over, but New Year's Eve
is just around the corner.
These classics are coming at you all night long.
- Hi! - [Pete] Hey.
- What a fantastic party.
- And the food looks delicious.
- Oh you guys can put those over here.
- [Both] Okay.
- Hey guys, I baked all these cookies,
so make sure you eat up.
- Hey, do you want to play with my new Christmas toy?
- Sure, I'll show you my telescope after.
- I'm so glad you could make it.
- Oh it's my pleasure dear.
It's always nice to have some holiday cheer.
- I'd like to introduce you to my father in law.
George, you remember our neighbor, Josephine.
- A lady with a great spirit,
and a touch of a Philadelphia accent.
- Knoxboro born and bred.
- Honey, keep some hot toddy hot for me,
I'll be back in an hour.
- What's with the outfit?
- I have that job interview
at the software firm thanks to Pete.
So do I look hip?
- Honey, anyone who meets you won't have any doubt.
- Save some of that for me.
- Hey Grandpa.
- Yes sir?
- Thanks for nothing.
- Excuse me?
- Remember that Christmas box you gave me,
the one full of nothing, finally figured it out.
- What is it?
- I realized that life's like an empty box,
doesn't matter what you get out of it,
what really matters is what you put into it.
(holiday music) It's a music box.
- It was broken, must have fixed itself.
Like a whole lot of other things around here.
- I love you.
- So, did you end up having a merry Christmas,
or a merry merry Christmas?
- You know, I've lost count.
But,
that's just fine with me.
(holiday music)
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* We wish you a merry merry Christmas
* Year after year
* Good holidays we wish
* To you and your family
* A happy holiday, we hope for you
* Year after year
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* Year after year
* Good holidays we wish to you and your family
* A happy holiday we hope for you
* Year after year after year after year
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* We wish you a merry merry Christmas
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* Year after year after year after year
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* We wish you a merry merry Christmas
* Year after year
* Good holidays we wish
* To you and your family
* A happy holiday we hope for you
* Year after year
* We wish you a merry Christmas
* Year after year